Lets face it, every once in a while roommates will get into conflicts. Sometimes you can solve them and move on, but sometimes you can’t solve them and you have to go your separate ways. In this week’s blog, we decided to talk about some of the leading causes of roommate conflicts. If you know what the common causes of conflicts are, maybe you’ll be able to get ahead of them before they blow up into something major. We just hope if you're reading this, it’s not too late.
Not cleaning
One of the major causes of conflict was not being clean or not cleaning often enough. Although cleanliness may be relative, we are talking about a refusal to clean according to the schedule or not cleaning up after yourself. Nobody wants to feel like a house cleaner or housekeeper in his or her own home, so a little bit of common courtesy can really go a long way. If you are busy and may not be able to clean according to the planned schedule, letting your roommate know can go a long way in preventing arguments. If you are able to pay a professional cleaner to come in periodically, that might be another option too.
Having guests over too late
Most of you are students and sleep and rest are mandatory to your success in school. We have heard stories of roommates who had guests or significant others over at unreasonable times and it made it difficult for their roommates to sleep or get some much-needed rest. If you have agreed upon times when guests are not allowed to be over, or if there is a maximum number of guests that are allowed, then respecting this agreement is probably the best thing to do. We have also heard stories of roommates letting their friends use a roommate’s bed and bedroom while they were away without asking for permission first. This is an extreme example but it has happened before.
Some people like to play music or watch movies with the volume turned all the way up, so they can immerse themselves in the experience. If you are that type of person, keep your roommate and the neighbours in mind, since they may not be a fan of that. If you must experience music and movies with high volume, then maybe invest in noise cancelling headphones. You can get them for affordable prices and some places will even sell them to students at a discount.
Not paying rent on time
Sometimes we run into financial problems and we are not able to meet our monthly expenses. The challenge here is if you have a roommate, and you are not able to make the rent payments on time, they may end up suffering the consequences of this too. If you ever feel you may not be able to make your rent payment on time, the best solution may be to speak to your roommate and your landlord about this. In some cases, landlords will give you a little bit more time to pay rent, especially if you are up front about it. This might be the most important one on the list because you not only hurt your roommate and your landlord, but you may also hurt your credit score as well.
Financial disagreements
One of the common causes of disputes is not figuring out how to divide expenses. Not defining what is a “personal expense” versus what is a “common expense” can lead to a lot of confusion and arguments. Even though this may seem like common sense at first glance, once one or both roommates start to run out of money or the bills start to pile up, then this will become a more difficult conversation to have. Therefore, we recommend you get it sorted out early.
Sometimes people may have conflicting personality types and this can lead to disagreements and conflicts. You can always take the time to try to get to know someone before you move in with them to see if you share common values and interests, since these usually go a long way when it comes to building relationships. Even if you and your roommates do not turn out to be BFF’s, trying to respect and value one another can go a long way. If you think about it, once you start working, you won’t always get to pick your teammates and co-workers, same goes for group work while you are in school. Ideally, you should live with someone you get along with, but learning to co-exist and work with different personality types is an invaluable skill to have since you will need it throughout life.
Poor Communication
The last cause of most conflicts is a lack of clear and open communication. This in itself is a cause of conflict in any relationship so maintaining clear and open lines of communication, and in some cases, an open mind can prevent a lot of conflicts and problems. I once had a roommate who was allergic to shellfish, and the smell of crab, lobster, shrimp or similar seafood in the apartment would make him nauseous, and in some cases would make his eyes tear up. It took him a while to bring it up because he wasn’t sure how I would react, but when he finally did, I told him he could have told me earlier since it was making life tough for him.
Although some of these items may not seem like major issues to some, if you frequently have to deal with multiple issues on different occasions it eventually starts to build up over time and can lead to a relationship breakdown. One solution is to do a thorough roommate interview process, which we discuss here. Another remedy to all of this, is laying out a roommate agreement at the very beginning of the tenancy and not waiting until problems start to arise, which we discuss in the video below.